Loreless: A Novel Page 13

  'Just hav'n a bitta fun.'

  'Didn't look like it was reciprocated.'

  'Huh?'

  Billy rephrased with irritation, 'It didn't look like both of you we're enjoying yourselves.'

  He stood up and dusted off his jeans. Stepping around Rob and purposefully avoiding looking at him, he moved to the side of the car. Softly he called out to Mabel and inquired how she was. She didn't respond and cowered in the far corner of the front seat, hard up against the passenger’s side door. Her chin against her chest, she looked timidly up at him from under her eyebrows. She was shaking violently. He reached into the car and gently beckoned her out. She shrank back further into her corner. He smiled at her and reached out his hand.

  'It's ok, you're safe now,' he said.

  She studied his eyes for a moment. Upon registering that he was genuine she let her body relax. She slid across the seat and cautiously took his hand. He helped her out of the car and together they turned to face Rob. There was a moment of silence. Nobody moved and it felt like a standoff.

  Rob was simmering. Billy saw the rage boiling up in him and could see this was not going to end well. He gently coaxed Mabel behind him, using himself as a human shield. Billy felt her grasp his arm. Digging her nails into it she sneered at Rob, 'Fuck you.'

  Rob ignored her, focussed solely on Billy.

  'What do you think you’re doin'? Eh? This is none of your business. That bitch is one of ours.'

  Billy grimly held his ground. Rob exploded.

  'Fuck you,' he screamed and lunged forward with his right arm, his fist in a tight ball.

  Time slowed almost to a stop for Billy. He saw the fist approaching but was riveted to the spot and felt powerless to move. Suddenly an outside force propelled him sideways. He felt his sneakers sliding across the sand but he wasn't the driving force. Over Rob's shoulder he could just make out a figure half blended with the trees. It was Pidgin. At first Billy was startled. He then stood mesmerised as his entire body went numb. It was as if he was paralysed and having an out of body experience. He no longer had control of his body and was an innocent and helpless bystander. He saw the fist approaching and even felt the wind it created, caressing his cheek as it flew by. Rob quickly adjusted his aim and threw another punch. Again Billy's body slid sideways and just out of range. Rob stopped. Panting, he straightened his back. Time for Billy accelerated back up to normality. He stared down at his body. He felt power returning to his limbs. He wiggled his fingers and toes to test that they were indeed his to control again. He exhaled softly through pursed lips, took a deep breath and waited for Rob's next move. He peered over his shoulder and into the scrub but could no longer see his silent saviour. Rob let his shoulders slump and dropped his hands. Billy composed himself and turned to Mabel. 'C'mon, let's go.'

  Rob contemplated stopping them but looked defeated and could only manage a half-hearted, 'C'mon, mate.'

  Billy ignored him. Mabel was still shaking and obviously in pain. She could barely walk. He slung an arm around her waist and together they hobbled back to the road and towards the town. Billy could feel Rob's piercing stare drilling a hole between his shoulderblades. He resisted the urge to look back.

  Womens Business

  Doris sat Billy at the kitchen table. With slow deliberation, she made them both a cup of tea and sat in front of him. He cupped his hands around the warm mug and tried to settle himself. He stared at a few loose tea leaves circling around in the milky concoction. He looked up and met Doris's gaze across the table. He could see a mix of pain and compassion in her eyes.

  'Are you ok?'

  'Kind of.'

  'The other women will take care of her.'

  He nodded slowly.

  'What will happen to him, to Rob?'

  'I dunno. It's up ta the men to decide that. They'll know what to do with him. It might take a bitta time, though. Doug has been called and he's on his way from Alice.'

  'There's a phone here?'

  'Of course there is. We're not completely isolated, you know. There's one in the town office opposite the store.'

  Billy was taken aback. 'Really?'

  'Yep, why? Do you need to call someone?'

  'No, not anymore. Shouldn't we call the police though?'

  'Not right now. What can they do anyway? It's for us to decide what to do. If necessary we'll let 'em know later. We have our own punishments. We've had a lot of trouble dealing with their law and ours. They're two very different systems. In the past they'd first make decisions according to their laws. It was only later on that we'd have the opportunity to settle the case our way, if at all. It's our people, our law. Either way, our punishment has to be carried out otherwise the case won't be closed. This time we've decided to do it the right way around.'

  Doris paused. Sensing that more of an explanation was necessary, she continued, 'In the old days, we women had our secret stuff and magic and the men had theirs. It was forbidden to know the men’s business. If a woman saw something she wasn't supposed to, it could mean death. Also men had certain rights over the women in the tribe. What just happened might have been allowed under certain circumstances. I won't say that we were exploited, but for the good of the tribe there were occasions when it was expected that we give favours. That was a long time ago, though. Now things are different; but because of us having two laws to abide by, the white man’s and our own, things are also much more complicated.'

  'But rape is not right.'

  'I agree, and you did the right thing stopping him, Billy. What happened has no connection with traditional law. It's just plain wrong. In the past everyone knew what was expected of them. We knew what'd happened if we didn't follow the law. We accepted it. Things were just the way they were. In some ways life was simpler. The rules were clearer. You see, it works like this. There are three things: the law, the land and the people. They’re all linked. If you break the law, the land and the people suffer. You can't hurt one without affecting the others. That's why it's so important that Rob faces punishment for what he’s done.'

  Billy nodded slowly before straightening in his chair. 'I'm guessing he's gone. What if they can't find him?'

  'Don't worry, the men will find him. It's in their hands now. If he has any sense he will know he has to face up to what he’s done and won't shy away from the consequences. He’s a good boy and I’m having trouble understanding why this has happened. I think alcohol played a part in it.'

  'Yes, it could have been. I smelt it on his breath.'

  Doris sighed and looked down at her cup, a troubled look on her face. Billy lent back in his chair and rested his fingertips on the edge of the table. He took a deep breath and tried to relax. This had been a lot for him to take in all at once. He was struggling to understand the intricacies of their law and wondered what the punishment would be. He realised it was important to let these people deal with their own. However, he didn't completely agree that the police should be kept out of it. A crime had been committed. Yet, because of the people involved, it was very difficult for him to keep an open mind. Someone he had just begun to get to know had done something terrible. Before this happened he had felt that they were forming a friendship. Now he didn't know what to think about Rob. And why did the victim have to be Mabel of all people? She had been kind to him as well, and although he didn't really know her, he thought they had also been building a rapport. Two of the people who had helped him begin to connect with this place had somehow been taken away. He felt deserted. On the other hand, through this turn of events, he was suddenly a sort of honorary member of the community. He wasn't sure if that was what he really wanted. He was also disturbed by what would happen to Rob once they got hold of him.

  'What will they do with him if they find him?'

  'The men will decide.' Doris studied his face. 'Maybe I should tell you a bit about how things used to be. Now it would seem quite rough, maybe even ... What's the word? Barbaric. In the old days we had laws for a reason. They protected us. Ther
e was no other way.'

  She sipped on her tea.

  'I remember when I was a child, Doug was really sick. He was lying on the ground and not moving. Someone called for the spiritual man and he came. I watched him do the healing, even though it wasn't allowed. The spiritual man came out of the bushes and began searching Doug’s body for something. He then stood up and leapt into a nearby bush.'

  She half stood at the table and mimicked diving sideways. Puffing from the sudden exertion she eased herself slowly back into her chair.

  'He came back out with something carefully cupped in his hands. He bent over Doug and returned what was in his hands into Doug’s body. It was his soul. Our beliefs explain that all sickness occurs when the soul departs the body. The further the soul is away from the body, the sicker the patient.'

  She held the cup of tea in front of her and ran one finger over the contour of the handle.

  'The next day Doug was better, walking 'round just like nothing had happened. Nobody knew I was there, which was lucky. They probably would have killed my mother because of it. I was her responsibility, and she let me see these things, so she would have been punished, even if she wasn't aware that I had been there. I guess that's pretty harsh, but like I said we knew the law and what would happen if we disobeyed it. It's all about respect.'

  She looked up from her cup and across at Billy. 'I'm sorry. I suppose I've been going on a bit.'

  'No, really. It's fine.'

  She scanned his face carefully. Satisfied that he was genuine, she gave him a reassuring smile. 'Good. I think it's important you know why we do things a certain way. It might help if you understand a bit about how we had to live. Everything we had came from the land. There were good and bad seasons. Most of the time we women had to provide for everyone. We knew where food was in the ground and usually could depend on it. Sometimes the men would kill some meat—kangaroo or something—but hunting didn't provide a lot of food. Generally it was up to us.'

  A broad smile cut across her face and she chuckled. 'You know those men like to think they were running the show, but hey, they would've been lost without us.'

  She stopped for a moment and the smile slipped away and her face darkened. 'Having kids was also pretty difficult. If you gave birth to twins, which happened sometimes, there'd usually be a weaker one. In that case the weaker one would be killed. The same would go for someone who was too sick to care for. It was all about survival. We didn't have very much out here in the desert, so anyone who put extra pressure on our resources was a problem. It could be very costly for the whole tribe. They were hard decisions, but in the end you had to do what was best for everyone concerned. Now there are taboos that prevent such things happening, mainly based on Christian morals. I dunno what's better, keeping someone alive artificially with medicine or letting nature take its course. In the old days we didn't have the luxury of such choices.'

  She paused and lent forward over her tea cup. Her voice softened. 'In the past if someone died, we would bury them and stay away from their place. Now if someone dies we clear out their house, give it a bit of time to settle and their spirit time to leave. Then we repaint the house, give it a bit of a makeover. Then someone else can move in. We don't mention the dead. We leave them be.'

  Billy was so deeply engrossed in her stories that he sat bolt upright when there was a knock at the front door and someone pushed the screen door open. It screeched loudly on its hinges. It was Doug. He stood in the doorway, his body blocking out the sunlight.

  'We've found him,' he said.

  12

  Boggy Hole, 1886

  We had been camping away from the men for some days with the mothers, brothers and sisters. It was to be a great occasion. My brother was to be initiated. He was off in another camp with all the men, preparing for the ceremony. I was too young to participate. It would be a few seasons before I would begin the process of becoming a man. What I saw that day would stay with me for the rest of my days. It would also be a lesson I wish I had never learnt. Our homeland was no longer ours, and ours alone. We would have to share it with the invaders whether we liked it or not.

  It was early morning. Our camp was silent and there was a fine mist in the air from our smouldering fires. The sun cast long shadows through the trees. As usual at this time of the morning, the air had a bitter-cold, biting edge. The heat of the day was yet to encroach into the camp and take over from the warmth of the dying fires.

  We were woken by their approach. Because we slept with our ears to the bare ground, we heard everything. Especially something that reverberated with such force. The pounding of the horses' hooves was unmistakable. The earth shook. I had once thought a horse to be a large dog and feared it not only for its size, but especially because of its teeth. I now know better. I now know that the horses are not to be feared as much as the men that ride on them. They are capable of such evil deeds that the mind is unable to comprehend. For a long time we had been able to defend ourselves but times had changed. They now had a new weapon called a Martini-Henry. It spat magic fire and a kind of stone. I had overheard that it could be used to kill very large wild animals. An elephant, they said. I don't know what an elephant is but I can only assume it must be much bigger than a kangaroo. In any case, I had no doubts regarding its purpose. It was an efficient killing machine and had the ability to fell more than one warrior with a single stone.

  Long before they were in the camp they started firing these weapons. I was not yet fully awake and somewhat disorientated. We were all taken by surprise. Normally the older men would have been there to defend us, but on this day, because of the ceremonies, this was not the case. I suspect the invaders took this moment to attack because our camp had been split.

  There was an incredible amount of noise and commotion in the camp. Everything was in disarray. All around me my mothers were crying and whimpering. Some of the smaller children were screaming. I was on my feet at once and began frantically searching for an escape route. My sister had been lying next to me. She went to stand up and at once lay back down. Behind her two of my cousins also fell to the ground. Such was the power of this new weapon. It could extinguish three lives with a single stone. Blood poured from the side of her head and, although her body still twitched, I could see that her spirit was no longer of this world. I howled at the top of my lungs. I had lost one of my brothers not long ago in a similar attack. Thankfully I was not present when this had occurred, but the stories I had been told had severely shaken me. I looked down in distress at my sister. For a brief moment, a memory flashed across my mind of us playing together in the sand and searching for bush potatoes. We had always been close to one another and had done almost everything together. I was distraught that I had not been able to protect her. My sister had only seen the seasons cycle nine times.

  More hot stones whistled past my ears. In the distance I saw an ever-expanding wall of men and horses bearing down on us. A cloud of dust rose up high behind them and it seemed for all the world as if they were descending from the sky. They were still quite a way off but it would not be long before they were upon our campsite. I forced my anguish aside. Spinning around, I leapt high over our campfire and made for the shelter of some nearby trees. On the way I seized the arm of one of my younger cousins. If I had known what was going to happen I would have tried to take more of my family with me. In retrospect, I expect I did the right thing. Otherwise it would probably have cost me my life. My cousin had not been walking for very long but was mercifully already a strong runner on his baby legs. I zigzagged as I had seen the emu do, dragging my cousin behind me all the while. I yelled at him to stay low to the ground and tried to make myself as small as possible, although it was difficult to run in this position. In the end I had to lift him from the ground. His little legs just weren't fast enough to compete with mine.

  Behind me I could still hear the horses' hooves. Their clatter echoed loudly off the surrounding hills. I wasn't certain if they were already upon the camp and wer
e now also chasing me down. In the chaos all my senses were being bombarded and I barely knew what was up and what was down. I did not dare turn around as it would slow our escape. I focussed only on a mound between the trees in the distance. A figure stood on the mound. At a distance it looked like a large bird, but strangely in the shape of a man. He seemed to be calling to me. I kept running until the sound from the camp had faded a little. By the time we reached the mound the figure was gone.

  I found some shelter behind a large rock and pushed my cousin down into a small crevice between the underside of the rock and the sand. I motioned for him to stay completely still and tried to hide the parts of his body that were sticking out by heaping sand against him. In no time the only part showing was the bridge of his nose and his eyes. They filled me with fear, such was their intense, piercing stare. He began to cry and I could see the sand slowly changing colour around his eyes. In a moment he would run out of air and I quickly cleared the sand away from his mouth and nose. He exhaled softly. I watched the granules of sand shift with his breath. He stayed perfectly still. Even at his young age he was aware of the danger upon us. I tried to give him a reassuring smile but couldn't muster the strength. Only then did I attempt to see what was going on in the camp.

  Without revealing myself, I found a small hole in one corner of the rock and by looking through it I could see most of what was happening. I was relatively certain that they could not see me. However, we were a good deal closer to the camp than I had expected. Even behind the rock I knew we would be discovered if they headed our way. I pulled some loose spinifex over myself but was sure that if they searched thoroughly, they would still find me.

  The men were now in the camp and still on their horses. There was practically no one from my tribe left standing, apart from two of my mothers who cowered to one side in each other’s arms. The men had stopped using their powerful weapons and were now busy with their swords. Two of them dismounted and proceeded to slash at the bodies on the ground. The other men trampled over them with their horses. I did not want to look but an anger rose in me and I could not avert my eyes. I wanted to see it all so that I could tell my fathers and grandfathers what had happened. The images of that day still reverberate in my head and sometimes I wish I had just taken my cousin and slipped away.